Why do women marry gay men
I recently spoke with Bonnie Kaye, writer of Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women with Gay Husbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Talk Show on BlogTalkRadio. Bonnie has spent much of her adult experience first living with and attempting to love a same-sex attracted husband and then helping other women in the matching mis-marriage situation. (“Mis-marriage” is Bonnie’s legal title for “mistake in marriage.” Other people sometimes refer to these relationships using the term “mixed marriage.”)
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Because I know countless lgbtq+ men who were once married to straight women, with varying degrees of short and longer-term happiness and misery, I wanted to discuss this topic, and I wanted to do so from the vertical wives’ perspective. Who better to talk with about this than Bonnie Kaye? Our discussion was wide-ranging, beginning with her own marriage to a queer man and ongoing to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually becoming a rock for other women in similar situations.
In this announce, I have presented part one of this discussion, the st
I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man
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Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in treasure with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being male lover and has never concealed it from me. Only one of our joint friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain expose with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual comrade. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I believe they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t favor my husband, but that’s a different letter
Asarchaicas it might sound, even with all the media hype, touting celebratory strides forward for LGBTQ rights, there's still a grimy little societal secret getting brushed under the rug gay men, in droves, are still being forced, shamed, and belief-poisoned to do the right thing -- marry heterosexual women even though they (the men) know they're lgbtq+.
Now, before you glass house dwellers start throwing your vicious verbal and judgmental assaults, I encourage you to swear on a stack of Bible's that you've stood in a gay man's shoes, pummeled emotionally and intellectually by family, church, and society's pressure to be the heterosexual marrying compassionate. Yes, stand in his shoes and make sure they fit perfectly love Cinderella's glass slipper, before you open your condescending, wicked stepsister, sneering mouth.
If you haven't lived and breathed sexual orientation confusion, felt gay shame, or laid awake at night wishing that you really could pray the gay away, then honestly, you've nothing to contribute to this discussion and everything to learn from reading further as to why so
My Husband’s Not Gay, a demonstrate on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could own been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one linear and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They bring out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they bring out people’s judgments about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can adjust their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay dude and their straight wives approve this.
People seem to get up in arms when a dude says he is not lgbtq+ but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu